SCHOOLING AMERICANS IN SANITY

Ahmed and his cuckoo clock.

by Guy Somerset

Throughout the recent Brouhaha over Ahmed the Inventor (sic), a casual perusal of the reportage and its concomitant outrage via the Commentariat illustrates one indisputable fact regarding the American population – despite having an expansive and largely successful public school system, few comprehend the manner in which it functions.

This simple but true fact is astounding to outsiders in the sense that “public schools” in America are actually overseen by the public. (Note to casual American citizens: That means you.) To be sure, there are myriad Federal and State regulations which must be adhered to and an often perplexing array of outside standards which must be met. However, that does not detract from the reality that in every community of any size in the United States, a School Board meets, for which ordinary Americans can sit for election.

JUDD NOT LEST YE BE JUDDED

by Guy Somerset

Recently a former actress by the name of Ashley Judd, who incidentally appeared nude in each of her remotely memorable roles, was on social media and accused opponents of her alma mater’s basketball team of cheating. While such verbiage is the common and even expected grousing during such matches, reaction to her general mantra “We wuz robbed!” came swift and withering.

Apparently several users of the Twitter messaging system were unconvinced Miss Judd was qualified to determine whether unsportsmanlike conduct had occurred and proceeded to let her know so using a variety of colorful metaphors. Her emotions in tatters, she appeared on national television to pan for cameras and unambiguously state in her sassiest tone, “…and by the way I am pressing charges!”

Throughout the land a legion of millionaires from Fox’s Bill O’Reilly to MSNBC’s Jonathan Capehart nodded in agreement; they being the types who can afford free speech protection even absent that explicitly granted mere plebeians by the Constitution.

THE BLACKEST WHITE OSCARS EVER

by Guy Somerset

If one desires equality, one cannot have individuality. The two cancel each other out. Either basic pigment is celebrated or else talent. If you want the former, just watch the NAACP Image Accolades (you’ll be about the only person who does), while if you want the latter (theoretically, at least) watch the Academy Awards.

Yet, given that we now live in a “post-racial society,” the apprehension that too many Oscar nominees were Caucasian saw the recent gathering hailed as a virtual Klan rally of our entertainment industry.