The following passage is taken from Andy's new intellectual autobiography/philosophical treatise, Confessions of a Would-Be Wanker, now available for purchase.
by Andy Nowicki
But what does the pitifully
slobbering soul do when deprived of God’s much-wanted and much-needed blessing, for
reasons which remain forever unclear? How, under such tragic and abysmal
circumstances, can a man really be expected to refrain from indulging in
a pastime which brings a kind of peace to his weary soul? Masturbation is a sad
and pitiful act, but then God-forsaken man is a sad and pitiful creature, and
indulgence in such an act can in some way be seen as entirely worthy of just
such a being.
