PROGS AND DOOLITTLES

An uniquely insightful slab of meat

by James Lawrence

I must confess to a certain unedifying, if only occasional, habit: poring over the stories of people who got themselves hurt or killed through breathtaking displays of stupidity. Such online rubber-necking is popularly catered for by the Darwin Awards website; but I tend to find more cause for morbid fascination in the antics of a class of people who might be termed 'Doolittles'.

The Doolittle, as the name suggests, is a person who thinks that he or she can make friends with dangerous wild animals. A common pattern is for the Doolittle to experience a long run of luck with this unwise show of affection, which gives rise to an inner conviction of his or her "special connection" with the predatory species of choice, before the fantasy is dispelled in a few violent moments and with a great deal of blood. Unfortunately, what might be a case of individual natural deselection often results in the death or injury of sane bystanders, for Doolittles are hardly shy about dragging other people into their lunacy.

ANATOMY OF A MEME (1): WE ALL TASTE LIKE CHICKEN

by Colin Liddell

You’ll all have seen it by now, the meme above, featuring a North American Black bear sitting at a camping table, reminiscing about his experiences of eating human flesh, and coming to the conclusion that humans are essentially the same. The take away message is obvious: Hey bro, we're all the same, whatever our sexual inclinations, race, or religion. So, like, chill out, and stop having an actual group identity.

Of course, the only people this meme ever cons out of having a positive identity are straight, White people, and, even in those cases, it just pushes them in the direction of assuming the negative identity of the ethnomasochistic, as it is psychologically impossible to not have an identity.