WHEN JOHN MET MARK

Another kind of double fantasy.

by Andy Nowicki

Their brush with one another was the paradigmatic encounter between the Celebrity and the Nobody, the "have" and the "have-not" of the postmodern age, an era which hypocritically blasts endless PSAs about "equality," "democracy," and "self-esteem" while implicitly deriding non-celebrities as losers, wastes of space, and living beings unworthy of life.

The meeting outside of Manhattan's tony Dakota building between John Winston Ono Lennon and Mark David Chapman would result in the former's murder and the latter's lifelong incarceration. It would provoke numerous public expressions of grief from hundreds of thousands of people who felt their lives were somehow affected by the death of a man they'd never met.

OREGON MASSACRE: WHAT HATH GYNOCENTRISM WROUGHT?

NOTE: THE MAN IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT THE OREGON COLLEGE SHOOTER, AS WAS ORIGINALLY BELIEVED.

According to early internet rumors, it seemed as if the alleged Umpqua Community College spree killer was another Elliot Rodger knockoff, fuming over being rejected by women in a gynocentric culture in which "genetically inferior" men like himself are sure to get the shaft.