With a sly, knowing wink to Martin Niemoller. What follows is a contemporary reworking of his famous dictum about life in Nazi Germany, as it might be spoken by a typical weasel-faced, mainstream American conservative establishment-lapdog, as a sort of soliloquy/confession uttered in an unguarded moment.
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by Andy Nowicki
First, they came for the Holocaust deniers.
I didn’t have a problem with this at all. After all, as a mainstream American conservative, I pledge fealty to the state of Israel and obediently fetishize Jewish historical suffering as uniquely horrific. To compare the Jewish Holocaust to any other instance of mass murder is offensive to me, because (as I have been told, and as I quite unthinkingly repeat, good little goyboy that I am) to do so inexcusably trivializes the Shoah, making it seem like just another case of man’s inhumanity to man, which it certainly wasn’t, because… well, because that’s what I’ve been told! By whom, you ask? Well, by sources that are surely knowledgeable, sources that one doesn’t question if one knows what is good for one—and I, for one, surely do!
