THE 28-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN

Tim Tebow: no fucker (and no homo)

by Andy Nowicki

It's true that celebrity behavior is usually a matter of little or no account; hence the term "celebrity," with its attendant connotation of overweening glitz and general absence of substance. It is also a verity that what gets called gossip is often based on an unfounded rumor and always none of our business; hence the term "gossip," suggestive as it is of snoopily vicarious prurience and unwarranted intrusion.

Still, there is something of value in noting what "ordinary people" are talking about with regard to the rich, beautiful, famous, and powerful, because it tends to reveal the underlying collective psyche of the times. We not only relish the notion that even celebrities have problems; even more, we thrill to the idea that their problems aren't totally unlike our own. And yet, somewhat contradictorily, we find their problems so damned glamorous that we actually wish we had them too. No matter how totally effed up a celebrity may be, his or her total effed-up-ness has an aura that draws us in and makes us perversely envy them all the more. The fact that such a response is silly doesn't make it any the less real. It is simply a part of our programming to be attracted to the trappings of perceived glory and fame.

'THE PATRIARCHY' AND PROPER MANHOOD

Be a "man of steel," not a "playa"

by Andy Nowicki

Recently The Patriarchy, a Facebook page geared towards young nationalist men, ran a series of posts, each of which featured an eye-catching picture of a highly attractive young woman possessed of an apparently impeccable traditionalist orientation and mindset. In each case, the text below the comely lass took the form of a pep talk: “Come on lads, don’t give up! Play your cards right, get your shit together, and something like this could be yours!!!”

Responses to these posts, which I am paraphrasing here, ranged from  expressions of sullenly cynical Return of Kings-esque bon mots (“No way a girl like that really exists in the West – these days, they’re all a bunch of fat, skanky liberal feminist sluts!!!”) to effusions of simple mouth-agape admiration (“Whoa, she’s HOT!!!”) to displays of good-naturedly brazen, jovial braggadocio (“Get away from her, you bunch of losers… she’s MINE!”), to general declarations of approval with the overall message of the post (“What an inspiring speech! I won’t give up!”), each post more emphatic than the last (as signified here by the copious exclamation marks).

And I suppose it was all somewhat touching, in a way. The editor in question (I presume a slightly older, though still rather young man, perhaps in his early 30s) wished to instruct his youthful comrades not to despair, because dark as things may seem, victory is actually within their grasp; “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers,” and all that. But I nevertheless found something about the scene quite unsettling; watching the feeding frenzy of commenters, each desperately tearing away a digestible message from the bewitching images on display, reminded me that even among those pockets of resistance to the cultural miasma that is the rancid mainstream, an air of conspicuously degraded sensualism still pervades.