GERMANS ACHIEVE NEW BREAKTHROUGH IN DIAGNOSING MENTAL ILLNESS

by Alt-Right News

The scientific and psychiatric worlds were aghast and amazed yesterday by a new German breakthrough which allows even unqualified operatives, like police officers and journalists, to instantaneously diagnose mental illness in seconds.

The breakthrough came at a Dusseldorf train station, where a man of Muslim background was instantly diagnosed as "mentally ill" after going on a rampage with an axe and seriously injuring seven people. His race and religion were of absolutely no importance.

SOUTH AFRICA RETURNS TO APARTHEID-ERA FLAG (APRIL 1 ENCORE)

The "Rainbow" flag, a symbol of anti-white hatred to many Afrikaners.

by Andy Nowicki

In response to the brutal murders of thousands of white farmers and their families which have taken place all over South Africa since Nelson Mandela's election in the mid-90s, high ranking African National Congress officials announced Tuesday that the country would outlaw the famous "Rainbow" flag, which has flown over the Parliament building in Pretoria for the past 21 years.

The country will return to the so-called Prinsevlag, the official flag it flew prior to the ANC's ascension to power in the historic election that signified the end of Apartheid in 1994.

This step will be taken out of deference to the numerous white victims of black violent crime since the majority-black country became a full democracy two decades ago.

OBAMA ANNOUNCES THE ADOPTION OF A NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM (APRIL 1 ENCORE)

Prez issues edict mandating a new national anthem

by Andy Nowicki

In a stunning announcement sure to spark controversy, President Obama announced Friday that he has issued an executive order that the United States will adopt a new national anthem.

"The time has come," the president intoned solemnly, as he spoke to the assembled DC press corps on the eve of the Forth of July weekend. "Change is never easy, but sometimes it is necessary," he added.

The new song, Obama indicated, would replace Francis Scott Key's Star Spangled Banner, written in commemoration of the valor of American troops in their defense of  Fort McHenry during the War of 1812. The Banner had been a patriotic favorite for many decades, prior to being officially recognized as the official national anthem of the United States by President Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

SJWS MOCKED ON SNL

Funny cuz it's true.

ARYAN WOMEN IN WHEAT FIELDS

"So that the beauty of the white woman will not disappear from the wheat field."

There is a hilarious Facebook page entitled "Aryan Women In Wheat Fields" that is well worth checking out, aptly parodying the white-knighting aesthetic tendencies among some White Nationalists, whereby white hotties in traditional garb posing soulfully in natural settings are endlessly fetishized, and their images promulgated as a clarion call to racial pride (as if beauty didn't exist among other races, and as if the large majority of mediocre-looking white people didn't more accurately represent the white phenotype in general).

OBAMA ANNOUNCES THE ADOPTION OF A NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM

Independence weekend surprise: Prez issues edict mandating a new national anthem

by Andy Nowicki

In a stunning announcement sure to spark controversy, President Obama announced Friday that he has issued an executive order that the United States will adopt a new national anthem.

"The time has come," the president intoned solemnly, as he spoke to the assembled DC press corps on the eve of the Forth of July weekend. "Change is never easy, but sometimes it is necessary," he added.

The new song, Obama indicated, would replace Francis Scott Key's Star Spangled Banner, written in commemoration of the valor of American troops in their defense of  Fort McHenry during the War of 1812. The Banner had been a patriotic favorite for many decades, prior to being officially recognized as the official national anthem of the United States by President Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

WHY AMERICA SHOULD INVADE MEXICO AND POSSIBLY ONE OR TWO OTHER COUNTRIES

Each White baby delays the utopia of true diversity.

by Libby Tard (guest liberal)

Vice President Joe Biden (pictured above, on the right) has been sharing his wisdom with the nation again. At a recent State Department luncheon for Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff, he opined:

"By 2017, those of us of European stock," Biden said "will be an absolute minority in the United States of America." That's "not a bad thing, that's a good thing," he added, because it means the U.S. is expanding the diversity of its people."

He has cheered the end of the white, European majority before. Last December, while in Morocco, he said:

"Ladies and gentlemen, in 2017, the United States for the first time, Caucasians of European descent like me will be in an absolute minority in the United States of America. The secret that people don't know is our diversity is the reason for our incredible strength."

OK, narrow-minded hate-mongers are going critique the guy's math skills (which already show interesting elements of diversity) because, according to old-dead-White-guy science, Whites are not scheduled to be a US minority until 2044.

SOUTH AFRICA RETURNS TO APARTHEID-ERA FLAG, CITING WHITE FARM MURDERS AS "TEACHABLE MOMENT"

The "Rainbow" flag, a symbol of anti-white hatred to many Afrikaners.

by Andy Nowicki

In response to the brutal murders of thousands of white farmers and their families which have taken place all over South Africa since Nelson Mandela's election in the mid-90s, high ranking African National Congress officials announced Tuesday that the country would outlaw the famous "Rainbow" flag, which has flown over the Parliament building in Pretoria for the past 21 years.

The country will return to the so-called Prinsevlag, the official flag it flew prior to the ANC's ascension to power in the historic election that signified the end of Apartheid in 1994.

This step will be taken out of deference to the numerous white victims of black violent crime since the majority-black country became a full democracy two decades ago.

FLEAS BEG DOG FOR MORE TIME

by Aesop

In a recent meeting between the newly-elected King of the Fleas and the Dog, it was agreed that the Fleas could stay on the Dog’s hairy back for another four months, but only if they followed strict conditions.

PANIC IN FERGUSON, MISSOURI, AS EBOLA REACHES AMERICA

A local resident presumably stocking up on medical supplies.

by Phil Colum

Residents of the sleepy town of Ferguson, Missouri, were in a state of panic last night following the sudden, mysterious death of a young, aspiring college student Michael Brown.

The 18-year-old, who had recently taken up rapping and smoking, was found dead in the street after he experienced serious hemorrhaging. This followed a visit to a local store, where the brilliant young student inexplicably took some cigars without paying and then proceeded to disrupt traffic.

Erratic behavior and the sudden loss of blood and other bodily fluids are well known symptoms of Ebola, a disease that has been known to afflict people of African origin in the past.

UNLEASH THE DOGS OF WAR

by Balaclava Dog

"Greetings from New Republic of Slaviyansk-Dogtopia! We have seized control of local dog pound from forces loyal to evil cat-loving Kievan Junta, namely dirty squirrel called Boris.

We assert sovereign right of local Russian dog to piss on fire hydrant and stick head out of tractor window on freeway. We also demand right of unification with other Russian dog near Stravinsky sausage factory. Western media is to criticize for us by pissing on fire hydrant, but fire hydrant symbol of evil Atlanticist alliance that want to replace us with poodle and other gay sex pet, like octopus.