WELCOME BACK TO THE FUTURE

by Jack Donovan

12/21/2012 has come and gone.

Despite our collective desire to either meet a spectacular end or get swept up in a thrilling life-or-death struggle to survive an onslaught of earthquakes, asteroids, floods, or whatever…

…nothing happened.

So, welcome back. Welcome back to the future. Their future.

Everything is still progressing according to plan.

People obsess over the end times because they are bored and safe and sleepy. They want to be afraid and threatened and alive. Or at least sometimes they do. Most of the time people are happy enough to watch other people be afraid and threatened and alive on television.

In times of chaos and danger, men with heroic traits emerge from the crowd to lead, to protect, to do what needs to be done, to take what we need from “them” and bring it to “us.” Natural hierarchies form, and men follow men of action — men who are a little larger than life. Strong men. Courageous men. Men who master the world. Men of honor.

There isn’t a lot of room for those kind of men in their future.

Their future is for small, petty men.

It’s made by and for the kind of men who terrorize with pencils and keyboards and electronic ticketing devices. The kind of men whose chests expand only when they have other men with truncheons and pistols behind them. The kind of men who wield the power of the ever-expanding bureaucracy. The clipboard carrying box-checkers and the bean counters; the meter maids and tax collectors. The junk inspectors; the pat-down police. The pee collectors and finger prickers. The tow truck drivers and claims adjusters and collection agents. The shoe-shine boys for the police state.

These are the men of the future. The men who ensure compliance with policy. The guys who enforce the regulations.

And there will only be more regulations. That’s what they keep telling us. What we really need is more regulations.

Can you imagine a massive movement to de-regulate?

It’s never going to happen. No government wants to get smaller, and there will always be some tiny, petty man who writes his congressman to demand one more rule — because something annoyed him, because it’s unsightly, because it’s somehow out of order or so suspiciously wild and free that it gives him a touch of indigestion.

Unfortunately, the only way to fight these men most of the time is to snipe back at them, to fight passive-aggression with passive aggression, to use policy against policy.

“I’m going to sue you.”

“I want to talk to your supervisor.”

“I’m going to tell.”

Yeah, because that’s what men do.

It’s all of these little men who make sure we follow the rules, so we don’t hurt ourselves or each other. They get flustered and wag their little fingers and find ways to penalize us. And there’s nothing we can do, because Big Brother is standing right behind them.

No wonder people were half-hoping that fire would rain from the sky this morning.

This is what progress really looks like. The future is now.

Destroy the future.

START THE WORLD.

Boss Tweed: I said, you’re turning your back on the future.

Bill: Not our future.

                 - Gangs of New York