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Tuesday, 19 December 2017

A TALE OF TWO COALITIONS



Meet Angela. She is a fusty, cantankerous, lonely old woman who smells vaguely of rotting cabbage. She has trouble making friends  because she thinks everybody hates her, while hating people who want to make friends with her. The only thing she loves are her Third World pets, but of course they despise her the most.

Almost three months ago she had an election, where her party did badly, but it still managed to get the most seats. Unfortunately Angela has been unable to form a government because the people she wants to be her friends don't agree with her, and they don't agree with each other. They just want to keep on arguing. For this reason Germany still doesn't have a government.

Oh, did I forget to mention that Angela is the Chancellor of Germany? Well, she is. Sorry about that. I should have said that at the beginning.

Now, meet Sebastian. He is young, good-looking, and popular. He smells vaguely of fresh pine cones in the snow.


Two months ago he also had an election. He did rather well, but because Austria is a multi-party democracy with proportional representation, he didn't get a majority.

But no problem. Sebastian is a popular guy and can work easily with other people. He did a deal with the second most popular party, the Austrian Freedom Party, which shares a lot of things in common with Sebastian's Austrian People's Party. It also takes a harder line on immigration, which Sebastian secretly thinks is a good idea, even though it will mean fewer pets for lonely Angela. Now Austria has a government and the good news is that Sebastian is the new Prime Minister.

Meanwhile his neighbour Angela continues to live her life of sad desperation, looking for a partner to share her large house and growing collection of pets with. But she doesn't like anybody and nobody likes her, and of course even her pets hate her. They hate her most of all.

It is sad and worrying. It looks like she will die alone some day. She may even be eaten by her little pets, as they get hungry and angry if their "Mother" forgets to feed them.



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